Ok, so the very first T-SPEAKK topic ever created involved the heated and often controversial topic revolving around ReLaTiOnShiPs. So I thought, “why not kick off the re-awakening on that same note?!” Especially since a close guy friend of mine is currently twisted up, tied up and tangled up in a love TKO as we speak… So here’s the dealy-o…
How many times have you heard a guy describe his relationship with a female that he’s dating as “we’re just kickin’ it” or better yet “we’re just friends?” However, as an outsider looking in, and a grown-up you are well aware that there is more going on than kicking it & a little friendliness. Well I would like to address the “He Say, She feel” theory of unlabeled relationships... Because despite knowing how this scenario often plays out, the saga & vicious cycle still continues. With this I mean that a man will tell a woman, “we’re just kickin’ it” or “I’m not looking for a relationship,” but because intimate acts take place or time is spent, the female forgets what he said, and opts for what she feels... This resulting in hurt feelings-- broken hearts-- and misunderstandings.
For a long time I blamed men for being selfish and self-centered and even accused them of playing games by leading females on. But then one day I had to say “wait a minute-- females need to take a man’s word for face value and quit playing themselves.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that men are justified for their actions within many of these cases, however, I do think it’s time that women wise up! It’s time to realize that it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for a WOMAN to be intimate with a MAN and NOT develop feelings that lead to a desire for a committed relationship. (A relationship that he clearly stated he is not looking for or ready to engage.) I do understand that there is that small percentage of women who deem themselves mature enough to handle the emotions of intimacy and take the relationship for face value, but the majority is the opposite.
This topic may sound old and taboo, but unfortunately this is still happening to women who are 30+ years of age. And honestly, my heart hurts for them. It reminds me of a quote I’ve been hearing a lot lately, “When a person tells/shows you who they are—BELIEVE THEM!” Despite countless self-help books old & new this cycle carries on. (ie. He’s Just Not That Into You; Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man)
So I’m really curious to hear other perspectives regarding this. Ladies/fellas—why does this “He Say, She Feel” saga continue to twist, tie & tangle up people that we all know??? Maybe I can help my friend out with your insight as well!
WOW... this hit home for me on so many levels. I can honestly say I have been there.. I pray that we can be honest to one another. Communication and honesty is the key here. Never try to change the way a person feels or accept things and hope for a change. Love yourself enough to say hey this is not what i want, lets not continue whatever it is we are doing. This is a really sensitive subject. Thanks for the blog Miss Tee.. keep them coming love ya
ReplyDeleteIf a woman is in her 30s she should be mature enough to know what she wants in a man and she is an idiot if she accepts anyhting less. In my sincere opinion I think lots of women set themselves up for failure just soo they can add some drama to their lives. Women ccannot control men so if a woman's whole conversation is about how much of a victim she has been in relationships she needs to reevaluate her wants and needs. Can she really look in the mirror and say she never intended her love life to be a roller coaster ride? Did she set herself up for it or is it all the man's fault? Let's be real. Thanks T for the blog. Keep it up! Reply to mine too when you get a minute.
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